In one of my philosophical debates with myself, I was thinking about what it means to be sociable, friendly, or popularly likeable. Since I am none of these in any degree, I wonder whether I miss out on the ‘surrounded by friends’ part, or if I’m just too obsessive about my friends to take out time to make new ones. Personally, my view has always been that one should only have friends who are really there when you need them, and won’t just discard you when their is nothing material to be gained from friendship. But such friends dont come easy; indeed, I have met only three such people in my life till now; one, I have almost nothing in common with, yet I consider him and his family as myown,; with another, I have tonnes to share. He’s the closest to my weird intellect I have yet come across. If we so wished, we could go on talking forever. The third is someone rather more than a friend, a sort of spiritual guide who cares more about my life thanI do. I can be my usual egocentric self around these guys without being worried about any side-effects. My mother and father, of course, can be extremely kind and vindictive, acoording to the situation. But they’re part of god’s more complex plan to ensure that I dont go strolling on the wrong tracks.
Anyway, that’s not to say that I dont appreciate the value of ’hi-hello’ friends,because someday those guys might say something more, and that makes all the difference between haves and have-nots.So I guess I should just be myself at all times, and let people judge for themselves.
Well, that’s enough for now. My brain nearly drowned with such DEEP thinking.
